Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Home Sick And Now The Washer Quits....What Else Is Around The Corner?

O.k, so I called off of work today sick. I didn't think my coworkers would appreciate me spreading my sicko germs everywhere, so I stayed home. I am supposed to be resting right now, but I unable to sleep. So, here I sit in front of my computer writing this post. Typing away as I hack up a lung.

And if being sick wasn't bad enough.....my washer decided to stop working today. I guess it got tired of washing 6 to 7 loads a day. When it is supposed to agitate or spin to get the water out of the clothes, it just makes a horrible noise. Kind of sounds like it is going to explode at anytime. So, I guess it is time to send it to the retirement home for broken and unwanted appliances. Good bye my washer, you have served me well.

I have to admit that I had a good weekend overall. We took a leisurely drive through a park that had a holiday light display. Then we took the kids to see Santa. Finished up our shopping and spent some quality time with the kids. And with Christmas just 3 days away, I eagerly anticipate the looks on my kids faces when they open their gifts. And that my friends is all the medicine I need to fix being sick. So, hurry up and get here Christmas, I need a feel good fix and quick.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Alive And Kicking

I am sure many folks probably have given up on me by now, since it has been a few months since I posted last. But let me tell you that I am still here.

Life kind of took me for a ride down the bumpiest road ever. And it has finally started to slow down. From watching my sister in law hang near death, to struggling to deal with my depression. And that is just the beginning. I am hoping that the holidays will bring some much needed relief from the craziness. But it doesn't feel like it will.

I am struggling with my feelings of losing my dad on Christmas day last year. I cry a lot, and am really depressed. I wish I could fast forward through the next few weeks so I could make the pain go away, but that is just a pipe dream.

For now I will tie a knot in the end of my rope, and hang on for dear life.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Kids Just Love School

It is amazing how quickly the newness of school has worn off. One day the kids are jumping out of bed at the speed of light and running out the door to school. And the next they are pulling the covers over their heads and hiding instead of getting dressed.

I think it has to do with the change in the weather. On the days when the temperature has dropped significantly, they tend to hide under the covers in the morning. But on warmer days, they seemingly pop out of bed like toast from a toaster. And I have to admit that on the cold fall days I am even guilty of avoiding waking in the morning. Nothing feels as good as a warm toasty bed on a cold morning.

And to think that we are only one month into the school year. Sigh, it's gonna be a long year.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Teaching Someone To Read

In my last post I mentioned that I have my 12 yr old nephew living with us. Well I have the wonderful pleasure every night of helping him with his homework. And as a result I have found out one thing......he can't read worth a darn.

So, I sit patiently, and listen while he reads aloud from his homework. And I try very hard to be patient while I correct him. But it is not easy sometimes. I want to smack him upside the head when he repeatedly rushes through sentences. Or guesses at words instead of taking the time to sound them out and get them correctly.

But a school teacher I am not. That why I am looking for a little help from my readers. I am searching for either a computer program or a website that helps build reading skills. I don't know what kind of response I will get, but any suggestions will be appreciated. Lord knows I need all the help I can get.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

It has been a few months since the last time I posted. It has been a crazy year and an even crazier summer. I am so happy that the school year has begun again. And that my house is once again a quiet place.

As usual my home became a refuge for other family members children for the summer. And as a result we now have my nephew living with us. He came to stay for a few weeks and has now enrolled in school here. And it is a good thing that he is here. His mother has been hospitalized for the last two months and now the family is being evicted from their home in a few days. And to make matters worse, the home that they were going to move into was burned to the ground by an arsonist. So, we found ourselves in a position of do we let him be homeless or take him. The choice was pretty obvious if you ask me.

But the summer did not start all that well. My oldest niece and her infant daughter that were living with us, moved out. On her 18th birthday she left the house and has not returned. She quit school and chose to live the party life. And by that I mean that she hangs out with her friends, smokes weed, drinks and thinks that life is grand. I hated to let the baby go, because I am so attached to her. But short of a court order I can't force her mother to let us keep her. So, as heart breaking as it was we had to let the my niece go and live her own life.

So, we are down to being a family of seven again. Which is a huge difference from being a family of ten. The house is a lot cleaner and a heck of a lot quieter. So, I guess I can be thankful for the small changes that happen. All of the kids will be in school this year, ( my daughter starts preschool next week.) And all I can say is what a beautiful thing that is. I love my life!

Monday, July 6, 2009

My How They Love Their Donuts

Nine police officers in a small town in Michigan have a new claim to fame. And no it is not arresting a famous criminal or solving a crime. They now own the town donut shop.

When the owners of the Clare City Bakery were ready to throw in the towel, it was the cops to the rescue. All nine officers from the city police force chipped in and bought the business that had been in operation since 1896. And since it's Grand Opening on July 1, 2009, it is quickly becoming a hit. They have a line of merchandise with logos like "You have the right to be glazed" and "handcuffs and cream puffs". At this time the officers have no intentions on leaving their full time jobs. So, they hired a manager and some students from the local High School.

So, I bet your wondering where I am going with this story. Well, since I am on vacation this week, I plan on loading the kids into the car and taking a long drive into the countryside of Michigan. Clare is only a 3 hour drive for me. But for the donuts and merchandise I think it would be a fun trip.

So, if you ever happen to be in the Bay City area of Michigan take the short jog over to Clare and pick up some handcuffs and cream puffs. But don't forget you have the right to be glazed!!!

Visit The Cops & Doughnuts Website

Monday, June 15, 2009

How Quickly They Forget

Good Grief!! It is amazing how quickly my son forgot about his recent tongue injury. Today he was ready to start bouncing on the trampoline again. I reminded him about his stitches and all he could say was, "I am all better mommy. I can play on the trampoline again. I promise I won't get hurt!!!!"

Oh Lord it is gonna be a long summer!!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Accidents Happen



When you are a parent the first lesson you learn is that accidents do happen. And in my house we have had an over abundance of them lately. And last weekend was no exception.

On Friday evening my 5 yr old son was playing at the neighbors house. Bouncing happily on the trampoline with not a care in the world. Then it happened......his chin made contact with his friends knee. And he split his tongue wide open. Of course it took stitches, four of them to be exact, to sew up the cut in his tongue. And then the fun really began.

For the next two days it was a non-stop battle to get him to stay hydrated. He refused to eat or drink. And after two days we had to return to the hospital. We begged and pleaded and finally were able to get him to drink. But only after threatening to give him an IV. He was not pleased with being forced to drink. But we finally won the battle.

So, it is Wednesday and he is doing so much better. Though his speech has taken a beating. He struggles to talk clearly because of the swelling. But it is great to see him bouncing all over the house with his sister. Chasing after each other without a care in the world. And the best part is watching him eat and drink. I never thought I would be so happy to see him drinking and eating.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

My Children's Obsession



Lately my children have developed a new obsession. They have found a bird nesting in a hanging basket off of my deck. I was going to plant some new flowers in it this spring, but it has found a new purpose now.

My children spend hours sitting in chairs around the deck talking to the bird. They pause every now and then to ask me how much longer before they can see the baby birds. Then they ask questions like where's the daddy bird. Now try and explain that to a 3 yr old and a 5 yr old. I found it simpler to just say that the daddy bird will be back when the babies come. Or I tell them that he is out looking for food. Sometimes I think it would be easier to explain nuclear physics to them.

They will understand the concept one day. But in the mean time we will sit and wait patiently for the sound of little birds chirping away.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Still Here

While I have been absent for a few weeks now, I am still here. I just have been lost deep in thought. And my thoughts have taken over my brain. My mind has been more or less occupied by thoughts of my daughter. And try as I may, I can't seem to shake it.

Today is another great day in my house. We are celebrating my nieces Birthday. So Happy Birthday to the Big "D"! She turned 17 today, and what a fun day it was. We started out at 7:30 this morning going to cosmetology school. And ended our day at 10 p.m. with cake and ice cream.

So now it is almost midnight and I am already in bed. My day will once again start way too early for me. But since I am off from work I will be able to return home and sleep some more.

Here's hoping everyone has a great day.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Happy Birthday

Today I celebrate my oldest daughters Birthday. She came in to this world 18 yrs ago today. I truly regret leaving the hospital without her. Some would say that I left and never looked back. And to that I would say it was all a lie.

For the last 18 yrs I have led a tortured life. I spend my days looking into the faces of the young girls I meet at work. And I try very hard to remember her face from her baby pictures. And I wonder what has become of my little baby girl.

Perhaps there will come a day when I can hold my daughter in my arms again. In the meantime I will look at the faces and wonder if one of them could be my girl.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Tim Taylor Returns

My Tim the tool man Taylor has returned. And his latest adventure has been trying to repair a toilet. And has added a newly defined layer of stress to my already frazzled nerves.

Once again one of our children flushed an item that had no business being in a toilet. It turns out that our kids think that the toilet doubles as a garbage can, and they flushed a plastic container. And wouldn't you just know it stopped up the toilet. And no amount of plunging or snaking was breaking this thing up.

So, here it is Tuesday and our toilet is still not fixed. While the plastic container is not stuck in it anymore, we have been left with a leaking water lines that sprays water everywhere, broken lever arms, and a tank that leaks when you flush the toilet. I had to beg my husband to stop trying to fix it last night. Because it seems that he was only making things worse.

He finally gave up around 2 a.m. and went to bed. I on the other hand was left to clean up the tools, and clean up the bathroom. And of course he did the smart thing, he called a friend that is a plumber this morning. So we are going to leave this job up to the pros. Now if only I could convince my husband to stop trying to repair things........maybe just maybe we wouldn't have to keep calling repairman.

I love my husband to death............but a repairman he is not.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Man Am I Sore

Well I finally did it......I joined a gym. We couldn't wait to get started working out. I tried to start out slow but I am soooo sore.

I have forgotten one simple thing that must be done, stretching. I mainly walked the indoor track, but took a little time to lift some weights. But had to stop abruptly when my children were finished early. So I did not get the opportunity to stretch. And I am paying for it now. I am stiff as a board!!

Now we have come up with a schedule for going to the gym. And so far it looks like on Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday I will be going to the gym. I am wondering if I should take one of those days and spend it doing a yoga or pilates class. Perhaps that will help to keep limber. But one thing is for sure, I will remember to stretch from now on.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Break Time

Today I have decided to take a break from my entrecard dropping. To all my droppers, keep on dropping your card. I will be back tomorrow night to pay you a visit.

I finally managed to get my hair color straightened out today. I had to pay a visit to a professional stylist, and we ended up stripping the color. The finished color was well worth the money and the extra time.

So, enjoy the rest of your evening and I will see you all tomorrow in blog land.

Don't forget to change your clocks tonight.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Happy First Birthday


I just realized that today is my blogs 1st birthday. One year ago today I started my blog. And have been nothing but impressed with how well it has done.

So, I want to thank all of those readers who have helped to make it a successful year. And I hope that you will continue to help me make it a success.

Tammy

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Unhappy In Life

As you can tell by the title I am totally unhappy with my life right now. I have been burning the candle at both ends for far too long. And I have finally reached the end of my candle.....nothing left to burn. I am just physically and emotionally exhausted. And I feel as though I have nothing left to give.

Now the sad part is that it feels like a hopeless situation that will never end. I have no escape from the things that are burning me out. And as much as I hate to say it, my biggest drain is my family. Now don't get me wrong....I love my family to death and would do anything for them. But I need a serious time out for me. I have a strong desire in my heart to take a vacation alone. I was thinking about locking myself away in my room, but that won't work....they will still know where to find me.

Hopefully one of my readers will have a good suggestion for ways to combat mommy burnout. Cause I got it bad....and I need a cure and quick.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

What Are Your Favorites?

I have been reliving some of my younger days lately. I am so totally hooked on classic music from my teens. And I am grinning from ear to ear and dancing around playing air guitar.

So, I ask the question what are your absolute favorite songs from your teenage years? You know the ones that make you turn the radio up, and dance around the room so that your kids think you flipped your lid.

Here is a list of my Top 10 Favorites:

1. Pat Benetar: Treat me right

2. Eagles: Hotel California

3. Meatloaf: Paradise by the dashboard light

4. Eddie Money: Shakin'

5. Bon Jovi: Runaway

6. Michael Jackson: Off the wall

7. Bob Seger: Roll me away

8. Bob Seger: Hollywood nights

9. Jackson Browne: Running on empty

10. Survivor: Eye of the Tiger ( From The Movie "Rocky")

So, what are yours?

Monday, February 16, 2009

Where I Am At Today

I am still feeling somewhat melancholy following the death of my friend. So, I turned to some of my favorite things to bring my spirits up. And I turned to one of my favorite authors, Erma Bombeck. And this particular piece was sent to me by a friend of mine some years ago. And I thought I would share it with you.

Erma Bombeck wrote this shortly after finding out she was dying from cancer.

If I Had My Life to Live Over

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the “good” living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television, and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, “Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.”

There would have been more “I love you’s.” More “I’m sorry’s.”

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute… look at it and really see it… live it… and never give it back.

Stop sweating the small stuff. Don’t worry about who doesn’t like you, who has more, or who’s doing what.

Instead, let’s cherish the relationships we have with those who DO love us.

Let’s think about what God HAS blessed us with.

And what we are doing each day to promote ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally, as well as spiritually.

Life is too short to let it pass you by.

We only have one shot at this and then it’s gone.

I hope you all have a blessed day.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Farewell


I lost a friend and coworker today. He passed away after a battle with Lou Gehrigs disease. The words to express my feelings seem to elude me tonight.

He was more than a friend and co-worker, he was part of my extended family. And after he retired he continued to be a part of my work family. He was one of those people that leave a lasting impression on you. And he may be gone now, but he will not be forgotten.

Rest in peace my friend.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Thanks To All My Readers

Simply said a big Thank You goes out to all my readers. So many people stopped in and left Birthday wishes for me. And while the day did not exactly go as planned, it still turned out to be a nice day.

As a matter of fact the day only got more frustrating. It started out on a rough note and seemed to snowball from there. Towards the end of the day it got really fun. I found myself on my kitchen floor scrubbing spilled paint off my tile. Then my wonderful husband spilled paint on our living room rug. Luckily the kitchen floor and the rug cleaned up well. But it left me exhausted and wanting to sleep. But that was not in the cards. My husband decided to paint our bedroom that night. So I occupied myself by painting the trim in the hallway and living room. If my memory is correct it was almost 4 a.m. before I got to sleep.

But on Saturday I did get breakfast in bed. And I got to sleep in as well. While not as late as I would have liked. But anything is better than being up at 8 a.m. or earlier. But I did get many things accomplished on my last day of vacation. Some minor projects that have been nagging at me for the longest.

So here it is Tuesday and my 3rd day back at work. And it sure has been a real laugh riot. I have forgotten that on full moon days, all of the kooks come out of hiding. Now I understand what doctors, nurses, and police officers mean by the weirdos come out with full moons. I have had more than my fair share of weird people cross my path in the last 3 days. But the good news is that only 2 more days left in the week, and it will be my weekend. And another opportunity to get some work done at home.

Maybe this weekend I will finish painting the trim in my bedroom. Perhaps I will take the kids to the rec center and just relax. But whatever I do, I am gonna do it with a smile on my face. Because life is just too short to not enjoy it.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Happy Birthday


That's right.....today is my Birthday. You would think that I would be happy about this. But as usual I am disappointed. I keep telling myself it is just another day. Well if it just another day.....why am I ticked off?

Well I was told last night I would getting breakfast in bed courtesy of my husband. So why did I get kicked out of bed this morning to take our son to school? And then I had to go help out my mother,( which I don't mind doing)because her car wouldn't start. So I got nominated to take my niece to school. This meant that I had to drive to the other side of town, pick them up, drive to the school some 5 miles away, then drive my mother to the service station, wait patiently while she arranged for a tow truck, then take her home. By the time I got home my youngest niece was awake, so I had to feed her breakfast. Never mind that my husband is still snoring away in bed.

So here I sit in my kitchen. I have already started cooking dinner for tonight, there are clothes in the washer and dryer, and the dishwasher is madly humming away, and my niece is happy and content with a full tummy. I suppose when the kids get home from school I might run away to the movies and catch an early show. Maybe even treat myself to dinner at Olive Garden since I have a gift card. Who knows what the rest of the day will bring. It can only get better.

Hope everyone has a truly blessed day.

Monday, February 2, 2009

I Have Been Tagged


I have been Tagged by Greys and Things please check out her blog. I enjoyed reading her blog and looking at all the wonderful pictures of her dogs.

The rules are fairly simple. I link back to the person who tagged me and post these rules. Share 7 random and or weird things about me. Then I have to tag 7 people and link to their blog. Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their site. So here goes!

1. I have been a loner most of my adult life. I guess I just have trust issues.

2. As I write this post I am caught up in watching my niece. And I am listening to Barry White. And singing at the top of my lungs. American Idol watch out......here comes the next winner......NOT!!!!

3. I was a tomboy growing up. And I still am to this day. I feel more comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt than a dress any day.

4. I actually enjoy my job. Just wish I was paid more for doing it.

5. Even though I am about to celebrate my 41 st birthday, I still feel like I am in my 20's.

6. When I was growing up, I swore up and down that I would never work all my life in a factory like my mother. And after watching the decline in the automotive industry, I am glad I made that decision.

7. I am totally in love with my husband. And I have never felt like this before about anyone.

Now I get to have fun tagging other people. And I have chosen some great sites. Check em out if you get a chance.

1. My Sweet Haven

2. Kewl Stuff I Found

3. Sadie's Skinny

4. Not Your Everyday Super Goddess

5. At Home In The Ozarks

6. Wife OF A Warrior

7. Fenced In Family

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Daydreamer On The Loose


Once again I find myself daydreaming away my days. I often slip off into the abyss of my mind. And that is where I find myself now.

With my Birthday quickly approaching, and a stay at home vacation looming on the horizon, I can think of nothing I would like to do more than daydream. I find it so easy to run away in my mind to some far off destination. And the last few days I have picked a great location......Ireland.

I can picture myself standing on the shores looking out into the vast expanse of the sea. Or standing in a field gazing in awe at the beauty of a long ago forgotten castle. Or even doing the adventorous things like traveling to Ireland to kiss the Blarney stone and to have a pint of Guiness.

But it is but a daydream. And like all good daydreams, eventually they must end. And for me it is time to travel back to my reality of kids and laundry. But I think I will leave my mind in Ireland at least long enough for me to kiss the Blarney Stone.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Mystery Illness Claims More Victims!!!

Well four more victims have fallen prey to the mystery virus in my house. This time it is the four youngest children in the house. The 16 yr old, the 5 yr old, the 3 yr old and the baby of the house.

In the last 24 hours I have seen a drastic improvement in my health and the decline of the others. I have been barfed on so many times my shirt looks like we have wild birds in the house. And I have had the wonderfully distinct pleasure of changing the nastiest diapers in the world. I have had to wash almost all the sheets and blankets for four beds. And the best part of my day was waking up to find that my daughter had got sick in the middle of the night, then rolled over in it. Then she came and laid down in my bed and spread it all over my bed and her father. Ewwwww how nasty!!

Let me tell you that this particular virus will not be gone quick enough. My husband was even complaining that he was feeling a little under the weather this morning. And Lord knows I hope he does not get sick. Only because he turns into a total bear when he is sick.

Well wish me luck and a speedy recovery for everyone in my house.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

My Turn To Be Sick

Well today appears to be my day to be sick with the mystery illness. And let me tell you that whatever it is, I wish it would just go away. This mystery illness is running rampant through my house with little to no regard for anyone that it infects.

And let me tell you in between visits to the porcelain God, I got to be waited on hand and foot by my husband and kids. At my beck and call all day long, I know they can't wait for me to be better. But for now, I will relish in while it lasts.

I hate to run.....but I am very sleepy right now. And want nothing more than to curl into a ball and hide under my blankets.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Let The Fun Begin

At 214.5 pounds I am ready to embark on another weight loss journey. I joined a weight loss challenge at work today. There is some cash on the line, and I am determined to do better than last years challenge. I have 60 days from today to lose as much as possible.

Let me just say I was mortified today when I stepped on a scale and it said I weighed 214.5 pounds. The last time I weighed this much I was pregnant with my daughter. And here I thought I was doing well since my clothes were getting baggy on me. But I guess I was horribly wrong. Or the scale has something against me and was lying to make me feel fat.

So, now the fun can begin. The usual routine of avoiding foods and eating healthier. And just like last year my biggest downfall is the damn vending machine at work. It beckons to me whenever I am eating my lunch, and then laughs at me when I give in. Although I do find myself sitting on the other end of the break room with my back to the machine. That way the temptation is somehow minimized.

I am going to open up my mind as usual and ask for your help in my journey to a thinner me. So, calling all my fitness fans, give me your best weight loss tips. And I will find a way to work them into my day.

Wish me luck and pray for me to have strength against that damn evil vending machine.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

My New Favorite Tv Show

I now have a new favorite tv show called Homeland Security. It just started last week and I am already addicted. I find it fascinating and amusing at the same time. The sheer stupidity of some of the people is just mind boggling. And I also want to stand up and cheer when they catch that one person in a crowd that is smuggling drugs or contraband into our country.

Check it out if you get the chance. It is worthwhile viewing.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Once Again He SavesThe Day

Once again my cousin has saved the day. He not only is my cousin but he is my IT person. If I need it fixed I know I can count on him to help me out.

Well this year has not been a great year. Our laptop crashed earlier this year and it took us forever to save the money to purchase a new hard drive. Well we finally saved enough money to get the computer up and running. And he had it fixed in record time. I was so excited I almost wet myself. Because it means that I will no longer have to wait in line for a turn at the computer.

So, I drove down to where he works yesterday to pick it up. And like a kid with a new toy, I couldn't wait to get it connected to our network so I could surf the net. But as usual luck did not go my way. I did not have the password to connect it to the network and when I did get it, the computer quit working. That's right it quit working after putting in a new hard drive. I was both confused and angry all at the same time.

And it didn't take long for me to figure out what happened....Windows quit working. All I got was a message saying "unmountable boot volume." And no matter what I did it would not work. I got so frustrated I almost took a baseball bat to the darned thing. But common sense took over and I let it live through the night until I could talk to my cousin.

Of course it was not exactly an easy fix to the problem. He talked me through a few simple tasks at first. And when that did not work, he had to take out the big guns. Bless his heart he had to talk me through how to format the hard drive again. All I can say is Thank God it worked, because my next step was to kill it using a baseball bat.

Now I asked my cousin for a picture of him to add to my blog so I could do a proper posting to thank him. And being the great man he is h obliged me. He took this picture shortly after we fixed the laptop this morning and uploaded it to his computer. And this is what I got.

Click Here to See My Cousin Michael

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Upset To The Core

Today was definately not a good day in my life. I have been sort of melancholy all day long today. And I think it all started last night with the conversation about my adopted daughters.

It has been a tiring day though. It got off to a bad start with a phone call from the school nurse at the high school. It seems that my oldest niece had a ear infection that she felt needed urgent attention. So, I had to call off of work so I could her to the hospital. And while I was driving her there her sister called and said she wanted to go home because she had a tummy ache. But I got lucky because I managed to talk her into staying at school. Then my freshly repaired laptop quit working. And all through the day I was somewhat depressed and all I wanted to do was hide. Which is what I am doing now.

That's right, I am hiding. In my own way I am virtually nonexistant tonight. I sit here in the living room of my house, with my mp3 playing my favorite music as loud as it will go, and I am tuned out. Not to worry the kids are in bed and my husband is chilling in front of the tv. And I am feeing really out of it, like I don't belong here. All I can think of is my girls, and where they are now. And how much I would love to wrap my arms around them, and talk to them.

Maybe one day it will come true, and I will get to meet my beautiful girls. In the meantime I guess I will just have to wait patiently and hold onto my dreams.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

A Sensitive Subject For Me

This evening I was having a discussion with my husband. We were talking about mistakes we had made in our younger years. And the subject came up of some daughters that I had given up for adoption.

I have never forgotten about my girls. One was born in 1991 and the other was born in 1994. I was in a really bad situation and was not able to keep my girls, so I gave them up for adoption. And all these years I often think of what has become of them. Well the question came up tonight of if I would like to meet them. I did not hesitate on this question for the answer is yes. I would love to meet them. But, I do not know if they would like to meet me. And I certainly would not know how to even begin to search for them.

But the subject will soon come to a head in a few months. That is when the oldest girl turns 18 yrs old. And that is the legal age when you can begin to search for them, and they can also search for you. And like I said, I would not even know how to start the search. And if I did find them I wouldn't know what to say. Or how to explain why I did what I did.

It would be nice to hear from other people who have been in my shoes. Either as an adopted child or as a parent that has given up a child for adoption. And to get comments from them about how the situation panned out for them. Please offer up your comments if you have them.

I need to close out this post for now, for I feel myself starting to tear up. I feel the need to go dig out the old pictures of my girls and travel back to another time in my life.....and just get lost in my memories of them.

Monday, January 5, 2009

What Will Break Next

This has been another fun week in my house. The house is falling apart and I am going with it, and it's only Tuesday.

In the last two days, I have had an entire kitchen cabinet start to fall off of the wall and my vacuum died today. The cabinet has started to seperate from the wall, and is dangerously close to falling off and hurting someone. And then today my son showed me that my vacuum is now broken. And of course my response was to hang my head and shake it in a form of disbelief. And I think I muttered the words " what next. What the heck is gonna go wrong next?"

So, I am of the mindset now, that it might just be a good idea for me to disappear. Find a deserted island that noone has ever heard of before, and stay there until my children grow up and move out. YA Right.....wishful thinking on my part. All I can say again is "Calgon Take Me Away" !!!!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Thanks To My Husband

Thanks to my husband for my newest addiction......fresh juice. That's right he bought me a juicer for Christmas and now I am hooked. Everyday as soon as I wake up and when I get home from work, it's the first thing I do, make fresh juice.

I have tried so many combinations my taste buds are watering thinking about it. My favorite so far has been a combination of orange, strawberry, blueberry, kiwi, and pear or apple. I even have to admit that I loved carrot juice mixed with apple juice. It tastes so sweet. And I have been doing some research for other tasty combinations. I think tomorrow night I will try some vegetable mixes.

And as always if any readers have some tasty suggestions please leave a comment. And I will give them a taste.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

A Woman On A Mission

I keep hearing the music from those action adventure movies in my head. And it makes me feel like i'm chasing after bad guys. I am on a mission.....just not to catch bad guys. I am making a goal for 2009 to monetize my blog and do my best to make it successful. I want to make as much money as possible using my blog.

I have already started taking a few of the necessary steps. I signed up for pay per post last night. And I am looking into more options as we speak. Now grant it that pay per post was not exactly the way I wanted my blog to go in.....but it seems like a good way to make some extra money. So, you have to gice it your all, go for all the gusto, reach for the top and all the other fun phrases.

And as always, I am willing to take all the advice from my readers. If anyone has a suggestion on how to get more from my blog......please feel free to leave that suggestion. I read all my comments, but I do need to work on acknowledging them when they are left.

I am off to go catch the proverbial bad guy......money! Wish me luck, i'm gonna need it.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Planning A Romantic Getaway

My husband and I are in the process of planning a getaway for the two of us. It has been almost two years since we took the last real vacation alone. And we are long past due for some time alone. We were trying to brain storm ideas of really cheap vacations we could take. We do know that we want to go somewhere warm. A chance to get away from all the cold weather. But we can't seem to decide where we want to go.

We have come up with a few ideas though. And believe it or not for a minute we were leaning towards a weekend trip to New York. But then we decided we wanted to go somewhere warm. Some of the places we have come up with are Miami, Jacksonville,or Ft. Lauderdale. I must admit I am stuck because I used to live in Jacksonville and wouldn't mind returning for a visit. But I have never been to Miami or Ft. Lauderdale and would love to visit those places. But when I was looking at pricing for hotels and airfare I was shocked at how expensive the trip would be.

So, This is what I am gonna do. I am gonna take suggestions on places to visit from my readers. Just keep in mind that this is a short trip for us and we only have like 4 weeks before we want to leave. Or if you live in any of those cities and know how to make the trip affordable.....give me your suggestion.

Hope to hear from you all soon.