Friday, December 26, 2008

Too Tired To Cry Anymore

Well the arrangements have been made for my father. My stepmom decided to have him cremated and not to have a memorial service. I was devastated because I wanted a chance to say good bye.

My husband came up with a brilliant idea. He suggested that I call the funeral home and request to see his remains. The funeral director said she would have to get permission from his wife. She asked me to call her back in 5 minutes while she called his wife and asked. When I called back she said that the family agreed to let me view his remains, but I had to be at the funeral home before 5 p.m. and it was already after 3 o'clock. So out the door I went with my husband and my oldest son in tow.

My youngest sister met me at the funeral home. When we went inside, the director gave us a brief speech about what to expect. And she told us that he did die last night somewhere between 10 and 10:30 p.m. I braced myself as we walked up the stairs to the viewing room. As I walked in I looked at his face, and he looked so peaceful. I must admit I was a little taken aback to see him lying in a cardboard box. But the director explained to us that this is the way they transport people to the crematorium. I instinctively reached out and touched his hair and stroked it like a parent does to their child. A undeniable feeling of peace swept over me as I touched his cold face. I did not want to take my hand away. I wanted to stay with him and not leave. I stood by his side and cried a river of tears as I held my hand on his cheek. And before I left, I bent down and kissed his forehead and whispered to him " Rest in peace Daddy". And somehow I feel better knowing that I had a chance to say Good Bye. And that I know that I will see him again one day in the presence of my Lord.

Rest In Peace Daddy

5 comments:

tahtimbo said...

I am so sorry for your loss. You have my heartfelt condolences. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as I ask God to give you His comfort and peace.

CyberCelt said...

I am sorry for your loss, especially during this family-filled season. I am glad you were able to see your father. Everyone needs their own way to grieve and it is hard to say goodbye to ashes on the wind.

Below is something that has brought me solace in times of need. May it bring it to you and your family now.

Remembered Joy


Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free!
I follow the plan God laid for me.
I saw His face, I heard His call,
I took His hand and left it all...


I could not stay another day,
To love, to laugh, to work or play;
Tasks left undone must stay that way.
And if my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy.


A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss...
Ah yes, these things I, too, shall miss.
My life's been full, I've savoured much:
Good times, good friends, a loved-one's touch.


Perhaps my time seemed all too brief—
Don't shorten yours with undue grief.
Be not burdened with tears of sorrow,
Enjoy the sunshine of the morrow.

Wanda said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your father. Mine passed away in 1983. My life hasn't been the same since. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Cashmere said...

Glad you had the chance to see him for the final time. Hold him in prayers always.. May he rest in peace...

Jacqueline said...

Sorry to hear of your loss.